I recently completed a 21 day Sadhana to the Divine Feminine Goddess known as Durga. The daily practices took me into the dark crevices of my consciousness, those places where my egoic mind clings to old ideas about who I think I am and what I think I know. Surrendering the old, laying it at my altar sometimes felt like someone had reached down my throat and ripped out my guts. Not a pleasant experience, yet the voice of Durga within me continued to urge me on.
“Keep walking,” she’d whispered. “Keep walking… through the pain, through the heartache, through the stories. Keep walking…” And I did.
I allowed the stories to bring me deep into my emotional pain body. Then I let go of the stories and sat with the feelings. Tears streamed down my face. Sobs contracted my belly. At one point, a clenching in my chest had me thinking perhaps I was having a heart attack. That turned out to be another story that tried to take me out of the process. I breathed into it.
The daily surrender roared like the lion that took Durga into battle to fight the demons. Her many arms carried swords to slice through all the illusions, doubts, and fears that longed to stay tucked inside me. I returned to the altar again and again, knowing the circle of Yoginis around the world sat at the altar with me in consciousness. Women who know nothing of each other’s personal lives before this circle, brought together by the Awakening Women Institute. Our amazing Goddess facilitator Chameli calls us to the circle again and again. She welcomes each of us to the seat she has prepared for us. I have claimed my seat there and join with the other Yoginis that hold the space for all our sisters around the world. Through this circle, we draw strength to do the deep inner work necessary for the Divine Feminine to use us to heal our human family.
When I emerged from this journey, an inner peace settled into my heart, belly, and mind. Yet I heard Durga whisper, “Keep walking…”
I am walking into a remembering that my life is exactly what I wanted. Exactly what the Goddess within me called in. After over half a century on this planet, the light of this truth continues to guide my path of awakening awareness.
May you walk in your life with the awareness that it’s everything you want and need to evolve your soul, expand your consciousness, and open your heart to greater love and loving. Namaste
photo credits: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mukulb/6225883181/sizes/z/in/photostream/
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What a beautiful post A’ra. I love your deep wisdom and how you share this with the world. You are an inspiration and an amazing being. I am so glad to be communing with you.
Thank you, Laura, it’s my honor and my privilege. Love and Light.